bybyeblackbird:

Johnny Depp’s cameo appearances (2/a shitload?)

L.A. Without a Map (1998)
    ↳ Himself/William Blake

“There’s only two places in the world where I have found total simplicity. Cemeteries, and strip joints. Somehow I always seem to wind up in a graveyard. One time, years ago, I was flat broke. I was working up in Vancouver. I went to this bar to get a drink. So I’m just sort of sitting at my table, relaxing, and then boom… never seen anything like it. Quite possibly the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on was crawling across the stage, like some kind of stalking feline. I knew it was love, when one day, we were at this restaurant out on the waterfront, drinking pretty heavily, and she very gracefully reached across the table, grabbed the salt and pepper shakers, straightened her back, and gently placed one on each breast. Salt on the right; pepper on the left. And they didn’t move. They didn’t wobble. She just sat there with these things perfectly balanced on her tits, smiling at me with those unbelievable Ojibwe eyes that just melted me into my fuckin’ seat. And it was then and there that I realized why I loved her. And she realized why I had to die. So she killed me. She left me for a guy who owned his own polo team. I loved her so much. You get tired of cemeteries… try strip joints.”