Student #1: Do you have your tickets to Twilight yet?
Me: *dying whale noise*
Student #2: She doesn't like Twilight.
Student #1: What?! You don't like Twilight? We're not friends anymore.
Student #2: She thinks they're too pretty.
Me: The only way a vampire should sparkle is if they're glistening from being covered in the blood of their enemies.
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