




Oh man so much Gul Dukat in this episode
I wonder how many different videos he had to film depending on all the possible scenarios
Like a choose your own adventure book
‘Okay, now we’re going to film your reaction to if the Bajorans take over ops’
‘And now, if the Bajorans take over Garak’s shop and set up a small clothing franchise’
‘Alright for our last take how would you react to a hypothetical in which the Bajorans have knitted a giant hat that they are trying to place over ds9’
Bajoran Workers - please form an orderly line and I will service those of you I deem acceptable in due course.
Shit man Dukat’s time in the film studio is like his favorite part of his day (except maybe the part where he saves innocent Bajoran ladies from a life of ignorance and ok I grossed myself out). He watches every take himself and selects the best parts (and he knows what the best parts are because he pays a lot of attention) and re-records them when they don’t show his neck ridges to best advantage. And he redoes the whole thing every once in a while because he has added an air of dignified Gul-hood since it was last filmed and his public appearance should reflect that.
It’s a pity he didn’t find his calling directing and starring in state propaganda films. I hope, of the many alternate universes, there’s one where that’s exactly what he’s doing and he’s very happy.
S. G. Dukat, Star Of Stage And Screen?
Bajoran workers, surrender to your supervisors and minimize the confiscation of knitwear. I repeat, surrender and the re-acquisition of your knitted vests will be kept to a minimum.
Bajoran workers. Look at your Gul. Now back to me. Now back at your Gul. Now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using Flaxian body wash and switched to Risian Breeze, he could smell like he’s me. Look down. Look back up. Where are you? You’re in a holosuite, with the Gul your Gul could smell like. What’s in your hand? Back at me. I have it, it’s a taspar egg with two tickets to a candle-lit dinner in my quarters. Look again - the tickets are now jevonite. Anything is possible when your Gul smells like Risian Breeze, and not a Flaxian itinerant. I’m on a space station.
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