oldtvandcomics:
ninenineandgoseek:
discar:
ninenineandgoseek:
ninenineandgoseek:
prosocialbehavior:
demonic-mnemonic:
Sometimes I just sit and think about how Aziraphale and Crowley spent several years giving some ordinary human kid THE weirdest possible upbringing of all time.
later in life Warlock is going to make Storytime tumblr posts and everyone will reblog them like “you were raised by actual fairies”
warlocksaysdinosaursaredumb: Ok guys so storytime. when I was a kid it was really like, weird, in general, cause my dad was a diplomat traveling all over doing all this dumb “ra ra ‘murica” type shit, and my mom was super bored and annoyed cause he was never there and so like. i was basically raised by a nanny and our gardener? which, ok, it’s like 2013 and having a nanny cause you’re a neglected diplomat’s kid is weird enough but. she dressed like Mary Poppins??? it’s 20-goddamn-13 and she had like this Victorian dress and a big old times umbrella and a huge carpet bag and, I shit you not, she ALWAYS wore sunglasses. all day. all night. she was my nanny for like 4 years and I NEVER SAW HER EYES?!??! how the fuck did I not notice that as a kid, what the fuck
warlocksaysdinosaursaredumb: oh!! and she sang me the weirdest fucking lullabies, always stuff about like, pain and torture and how I was gonna rule the world and crush everyone under my boot. we had secret service run background checks how the FUCK did she get through
warlocksaysdinosaursaredumb:
the gardener was this weird mole man guy with like, buck teeth and everything? but he was SUPER nice, like crazy nice, he wouldn’t even kill snails. actually, now that I think of it, he didn’t use any pesticides or rat traps or like, power lawnmowers. he was our only gardener for a couple acres and he somehow kept the place incredibly beautiful by himself with nothing but a pair of hedge trimmers
warlocksaysdinosaursaredumb: oh yeah, I forgot, gardener and nanny… seemed to know each other??? somehow??? like the gardener was always calling everything brother or sister, like brother pigeon, sister slug, whatever, and he’d tell me to never hurt any animals or listen to what nanny said, which… i mean I did tell him some of the stuff nanny said but I swear he knew more, and he’d get this weird sappy look on his face sometimes when I mentioned nanny
warlocksaysdinosaursaredumb: and than
there was this one year when we had this really long winter, you know?
and the trees weren’t blooming around easter, when they usually do. and
than one morning i found nanny in the garden YELLING at the trees. she
almost NEVER raised her voice with me, you know, so i’ve never heard her
yell like that before, and it was really scary? and she was yelling, i
quote, BLOOM ALREADY, OR THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES!!!!! i kid you not.
and the gardener was like “you don’t have to yell at them, dear, they
grow just well on their own”, and she GLARED at him, like, she was
wearing her sunglasses of course, but she just looked as if she wanted
to run him through with her eyes? than she just sighed and said “you are
too soft to them, angel”, and turned around and left. and i mean,
that’s weird, right? and they were doing stuff like this all the time, i
kid you not. but now the REALLY weird thing, and you will think i’m
making this up: WHEN I WENT INTO THE GARDEN THAT AFTERNOON, THE TREES
WERE COVERED IN HUGE PINK FLOWERS!! i’ve never seen that many flowers on
those trees in my LIFE. i’m not the only one who thinks that’s weird,
right guys? right??
goodomenssource:
GOOD OMENS ‘SATURDAY MORNING FUNTIME’
johnohboyega:
I don’t ever say that. I like spooky. Big spooky fan, me.
fynnkaterin:
The reason You go too fast for me, Crowley absolutely murders me is this: It isn’t “I’m not interested.” It isn’t “I don’t feel the way you feel.” It’s “I can’t meet you where you are right now, and it kills me.” It’s longing and regret, knowing there is something right there in front of you that you want more than anything, that’s being offered to you, and you aren’t ready for it. Don’t know when you ever will be, and that thought is killing you, too, because you don’t know how long the other person will wait. It’s knowing that what you’re saying might be the end, but you owe them the truth, the choice to stop waiting for you.
wlwnora:
So you just popped across the Channel during a revolution, because you wanted something to nibble? Dressed like that? – I have standards.
sentaart:
A deleted scene too good for me not to draw it…
