"
Ianto parked the unmarked white van as close to the police tent as possible, grabbed a toolbox off the passenger seat and a white cotton face-mask from the glovebox. He hopped out of the van, only too aware that every net curtain within spitting distance was twitching as the locals ignored their usual afternoon telly for a slice of voyeurism closer to home. It must be like having Jeremy Kyle on all day. ‘My boy in pavement scandal – lie detector special.’ God, but he hated the suburbs…
He ducked down and entered the police tent.
'Hello, campers,’ he said, putting down his toolbox. He cracked it open and pulled out a medium-sized chrome flask. 'Who’s for coffee, then?’
'You read my mind,’ Jack smiled and gave Ianto a wink.
'If the first thing that pops into your head when you see me is “hope that sexy devil put the kettle on before he left”, then I can honestly say I don’t know you half as well as I thought.’
'OK, it was the second thing that popped into my head.’
"
—Torchwood novel - The House That Jack Built (Guy Adams)
"‘There’s no end to the glamour of life in Torchwood,’ he told the cat. 'It’s just like James Bond except more…really, really crap.’"
"Ianto’s the priority. Everything else can wait."
—Jack Harkness in
The House That Jack Built (via
ajlenova)
"
‘Problem?’ asked Jack as he joined them on the pavement.
Ianto grabbed him and gave him a stifling hug. 'Not that I was worried or anything,’ he muttered self-consciously as he let him go.
"
—Torchwood novel - The House That Jack Built (Guy Adams)
"Jack walked carefully between the tables. A group of spotty-looking mods eyed him from the corner. One of them, working hard at looking more than his meagre years, peered from behind the turned-up collar of his Fred Perry shirt and started tapping his fingers on the formica in an attempt to intimidate. It did nothing of the sort; as a man who had once helped Keith Moon get a Cadillac into a hotel swimming pool, Jack would need a little more sign of the young man’s credentials before he felt even vaguely daunted."
—Torchwood novel - The House That Jack Built (Guy Adams)
"
‘That’s enough now,’ Jack said, stepping out of the bath, taking her hand and rubbing it gently between his own. 'The blood’s gone.’
Julia felt tears in her eyes, and she bit her lip. She was determined not to give in to that any more. 'It might be commonplace to you,’ she muttered, 'but I don’t normally go around shoving tools in people’s mouths.’
There was an awkward pause at that and then, despite herself, she burst into hysterics. 'I’m sorry,’ she said. 'That came out so wrong… I wasn’t having a pop about you being, you know…’
'He prefers the term “omnisexual”,’ said Ianto, stepping into the room. 'It’s the polite way of saying he’ll sleep with anything – men, women… cephalopods. I must be the only boyfriend that’s ever had to get jealous in a fishmongers.’
'Don’t knock the sensual embrace of the tentacle,’ Jack replied with a wink.
'Oh God…’ Ianto replied. 'I could have died happy had I never heard you say that.
"
—Torchwood novel - The House That Jack Built (Guy Adams)
"Jack tried to stifle a yawn. Church ceremonies bored him. Weddings were a poor excuse for distant family and even more distant friends to get together and bitch about a marriage that probably wouldn’t last. As far as he was concerned, you could do that much easier in a bar, with the added bonus that some drunken old duffer in a frock wouldn’t feel the need to keep bringing God into it."
—Torchwood novel - The House That Jack Built
"Sir, I’m trying to hook up two pieces of alien tech using spares from an electrical repair shop. My only guide is the research notes of a lunatic captain, who keeps breaking off from his findings to reminisce about old boyfriends. This isn’t standard field engineering, sir."
—Character Joe Leonard from the Torchwood novel The Men Who Sold The World, describing his difficulty in working with the notes of Captain Jack Harkness
"
He stuck his head around the serving hatch and grinned at Ianto and Gwen as they wrestled a ‘glandular’ lady in a plastic tiara back out of the doors and away from her precious buckets of fried bird. 'Having fun?’ he asked, then chuckled at the expressive hand gestures they offered.
'I have bruises,’ said Ianto, 'on places that have never been bruised in the line of duty before.’
'That rather depends on what you consider your duty,’ said Jack, kissing him on the cheek and waving at the large lady now stuck on the outside of the glass.
"
—Torchwood novel - The Men Who Sold The World
"
There is one piece of good news: I cleared things with Broderick. You have sanction in this until someone from higher up slaps his wrists.’
‘Broderick actually approved this?’
'I know. I think it’s because he’s always had the hots for me.’
'Not that he really likes and respects my work?’
'He hates you, Rex.’
'Can’t think why.’
'You refused to hand over the route mapping in Venezuela.’
'I suggested he would be better not interfering and let me get on with my job. I was perfectly friendly.’
'You told him to suck your balls.’
'The very definition of friendly. I don’t let just anyone suck them.’
"
—Rex Matheson and Esther Drummond - Torchwood novel “The Men Who Sold The World”
