I know the general understanding is that anthony janthony and his angel are Incompetent in the grand scheme of things, but there is one thing I’m going to give Crowley his due credit for — he is a *very* good tempter, and by extension a good manipulator. If he weren’t so averse to outright evil he’d be an excellent demon.
The key to a good demon-temptation is not telling people what *you* want, but making them think *they* want something that benefits *you*. So when Hastur and Ligur describe their temptations at the beginning - putting nasty thoughts in a priest’s head - that is PATHETIC that is just AMATEUR HOUR (imagine dramatic Tennant hand gestures here please.)
His first really good temptation (aside from, yknow, the First Temptation with the Apple and such) is the part of episode 1 he spends convincing Aziraphale to co-parent the Antichrist. Okay, Aziraphale, so you won’t help me save the earth, even though you love the earth as much as I do. What’s something you like, (so I can buy some time, and more information)? You like food, let’s eat. Then let’s drink until you let something slip. And eventually he gets Aziraphale to say something about ineffability and right and wrong, and that’s Crowley’s Way In. Maybe the right thing to do is Thwart my Wiles, right? Don’t appeal to Aziraphale’s own loves - the food, the bookshops - appeal to his angelic sense of righteousness. That’s how you make him do what you want. No wonder Crowley got thrown out of Heaven for asking questions - you need to ask questions to be a good tempter.
The other scene where Crowley pulls one over on people all snake-like is when he outsmarts Hastur after vaporizing Ligur. Crowley needs to buy time, and then he needs to trap Hastur somehow. So, what do demons like? Winning, getting recognized by dukes of hell - he starts with that mostly to buy time. Oh, I’ll call up the dukes right now! Demons also like violence, and vengeful violence even more so, and so goading Hastur to follow him through the telephone is child’s play.
There are great storytelling threads to pull at here - mostly in David Tennant’s performance and in some clever scriptwriting. It’s neat that while Aziraphale senses Love at the paintball nunnery, Crowley can tell what the office workers Want - (they want Real Guns, and he just gives them what they Want).
And, as with any time a character is good at something, it’s neat to look at the moments when they fail. His early temptations succeed, but later in the series he fails temptations three times, all of them with Aziraphale - first with the holy water, then at the bandstand, then with Alpha Centauri. In all of these cases it’s because he’s misunderstanding what Aziraphale wants. He doesn’t care about Insuring the Arrangement, but he Does care about Crowley being disintegrated. He does care about Crowley, but he also cares about that angelic righteousness, believing in the goodness of Heaven and the Plan, and if he can just reach the right people—!
The tactics Crowley uses are so delightfully varied - suggestion, drinking, bribery, painting vivid mental pictures (the only demon with imagination), threats, all manner of coercions. My favourite one is the very hissy “we’re on *our* side” at the bandstand, because — well firstly because it’s a fantastic line delivery — but also because, like all tempters, he’s succumbed to irony and he’s tripped up by his own desires eclipsing those of his target. That’s what *you* want, Crowley.
I heard a piece of writing advice that amounted to “at the beginning of the story, every character wants something and every character needs something, and those should not be the same thing. By the end of the story, the character should realize what they need and either get it or not.” Aziraphale Wants to be a good angel, but he Needs to realize what Heaven is and start to think for himself. It’s neat to see Crowley as a character whose entire existence is shaped around giving people what they Want and Need, and how that contrasts with his own wants and needs, and how that gives Crowley and Aziraphale’s story a lot of movement even if they don’t avert the apocalypse.
