Ianto Jones was at his station behind the run-down Tourist Information Centre that served as a front to the clandestine goings-on in Torchwood. His bare feet were on his desk, his tie slumped like a crestfallen snake next to an open pizza box, the top two buttons of his shirt undone.

‘Taking it easy, I see?’ said Jack, stepping out through the security door that led into the Hub itself. 'Well, at least someone has the right idea. Whatcha doing there, Sport?’

’“Sport”?’ said Ianto. 'Not sure I like “Sport” as a term of endearment. “Sexy” is good, if unimaginative. “Pumpkin” is a bit much, but “Sport”? No. You’ll have to think of another one.’

'OK, Tiger Pants. Whatcha doing?’