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Perhaps the most important person in Starfleet history…Chief Miles O’Brien.
I often think that the Keiko haters forget how boring Miles’ character would be without his family. The love for his family, his desire to return to them, is in the background of everything he does. It informs his decisions and ads emotion and seriousness to him being in danger. Knowing his family you know what would be lost if he’s gone and that brings a lot of depth to a character that otherwise isn’t very complicated (Or interesting, in my opinion).
Even when it comes to his most complex side, his experiences in the war, it works best with his family around. His family life is contrasted with his younger self and his bigotry shaped by those experiences are rightly questioned by his wife. A Miles without Keiko is bitter and without a truly compelling reason to change, evolve or return back home. As is shown in both TNG and DS9.
I assume that a lot of the Keiko hate comes from people that think his relationship with Julian is the actual center of his life and that family responsibilities hinder his “freedom”. I do think that his relationship with Julian is important, in the sense that it shows MIles having an active social life, fulfilling career and a caring family. But he always has a home base.
We can definitely discuss how Keiko is written, how she sometimes is shown to be the nagging wife character. How she should have been given more to do. But Julian doesn’t really call Miles on his bullshit. He is a friend, and we all deserve supportive friends. But ultimately Miles as a character is only interesting if he evolves and his interactions with his family is where this mainly takes place. If not explicitly, then in subtext. The fact which some people use to hate on Keiko (That she, Molly and Yoshi has needs that need to factor in to Miles’ decisions) is the very reason he has any sort of compelling character arc.
The fact that the entire crew was convinced that he might be alive because of this … I love this disaster space family.
KIRA: Is this a joke? Did you plan this?
BASHIR: Nobody could have planned this.Star Trek DS9 - The Circle
Julian: Keiko will forgive you. It’s your birthday today, isn’t it?
Miles: So far it’s one I’d like to forget.
Julian: Well, she’s been away on Bajor. She’s missed you. Bring her a gift. What kind of chocolates does she like?
Miles: Tellurian mint truffles.